The Mirror Theory Preface

The Mirror Theory

Pub Date: February 1, 2005

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Twenty years ago, I left friends and family, and moved to California at the urging of some mysterious inner voice for which I had no reasonable explanation. I was alone, confused, and unhappy. For the umpteenth time, I was asking myself: what is my life all about?

Financially I was surviving as a temp. Emotionally I was blaming others for all my problems. For example, if only my mother hadn’t screwed me up so badly, I’d be happy, successful and well adjusted. I felt like a failure compared to my sisters and friends. As far as I knew, they had the lifestyle I’d been brought up to expect: marriage, family, and fulfillment. I had tried and failed. Two marriages and four children later, I still had no peace of mind. Something was missing. I couldn’t name it, but I felt the lack of it—and it seemed very important to my survival.

What do I need? What do I want? What keeps me so defeated while others leap ahead? I tried everything I could think of: moving away from the problem, moving toward inspiration, reading books, getting therapy, and trying EST. I conformed and I rebelled but nothing worked. I was tired of crying, tired of blaming, and tired of trying.

Poverty was eating away at my soul and desperation taking over. Then, one evening in 1987, everything changed. It wasn’t a specific person that caused the turnaround; it was a specific feeling. My son had come over to dinner and we were playing a game he had given me for my birthday—almost as a joke. As we played this game, the message we heard together was: In all that you do, say, and think, you are the love of God now and forever.

Even though we received this beautiful message, my son was busy with his life and didn’t want to continue the game together. So the next day, I played it alone and it worked just fine. I asked a question and the game gave me an answer. It was sort of like Tarot cards but the answers were more personal. I was curious as to what was happening and wondered where the wisdom was coming from. Consciously, I don’t think I could have articulated the words. Was my subconscious or my soul answering me? Was Jesus or Ramtha answering me, or was it some other soul for whom I had no name? Happily, as the game progressed, it didn’t seem to matter what soul was answering; the love was welcomed regardless.

I’ve used this method of communicating with spirit to write four books. While I was writing this one, it seemed only logical that the story teller be Jesus. But I wasn’t brave enough to say so when the first edition was printed, so I called Jesus, Charlie. I know, I know, pretty funny, but since that first edition, I’ve gotten braver. If you have another name you’d like to use for the wisdom in this book, do so with my blessing. I don’t think it matters what name is attached to wisdom, only that we are open to the love that comes through it.

When I tried the game alone without my son, the first message I heard was: Welcome home. After that, it was one conversation after another helping me to put my life back together. Jesus didn’t have a solution that told me how to get out of poverty and end my misery; he had a solution that told me how to get out of heartache and find more love. He called it The Mirror Theory and said that if I applied this theory to every part of my life—financially, emotionally, and physically—every part of my life would transform. It sounded too good to be true, but I paid attention and kept asking questions. Here is a sampling of the questions I asked and the answers that I heard:

Where did you get this theory, Jesus?
It was given to me, he said, by someone who came into my life as I have come into yours. It turned my life around as it can turn yours around as well.

I want a turnaround, that’s for sure, but I’ve tried everything and the only help I’ve found is temporary. Why is this theory any different from any other self-help program?
It’s different because the mirror theory is revealed through a story about my life, and the lives of my brothers, sisters, cousins, parents, and grandmother.

Sunday school didn’t teach that you had siblings, I told him.
Nevertheless, I had them, he responded, but don’t trust me, do some research.

Why should I care if you had siblings, even if you did?
Because they used this theory, too, and were deeply affected by the growth they found from using it.

You must be talking about a very powerful theory, I said.
I am, but the power behind it comes from the powerful way these people used it.

Will your information be different from what I already know?
In several ways, but the story will thrill your heart and keep you asking for more. After I tell it to you, you can share it with others if it proves helpful to you.

Is it important that people believe the following story?
No, it’s only important that people love the stories they do believe in. Love is the bottom line, Betsy, always—which is what the Mirror Theory helps you to realize.

What does the Mirror Theory refer to exactly?
Emotional action/reaction. Everyone you encounter is an emotional mirror of the love or the lack of love you express. In fact, they reflect back to you a part of yourself. When you love what you feel from these mirrors, you think of life as grand. When you hate what you feel from these mirrors, you look for someone to blame.

Dissatisfaction only comes from not working in a positive way with your reflection. When you see everyone as a mirror and therefore a teacher, you free yourself from a victim mentality and gain a sense of gratitude for the answers right in front of you. Healing then becomes possible because the only thought that needs to be healed has been revealed.

Can you give me an example?
Sure. Let’s suppose you are patronizing another person. You may not be aware that you are, but your emotional action is still out there. When you are patronized back and feel offended, that’s a sure signal that you have committed the same offence.

What if I didn’t patronize another and I get patronized?
Then the mirror won’t affect you. In fact, you may not even notice it. And if you do notice it, you won’t care.

Can you tell me more about the story you’re going to relate?
It’s an emotional chronicle, sharing my interaction with family, as well as their interactions with each other. But it’s also a program of spiritual self-help and guidance through which many people, regardless of their religious affiliations or lack thereof, can find inspiration and comfort.

Will you be portrayed as more human than I’m used to seeing you?
Probably; my family perceived me as just another sibling who grew from a child, to a young man and adult.

Are you sure this theory will help me with my everyday problems?
It helped me with mine. Many issues will be discussed; the power of prayer, parent-child struggles, insecurity and self-esteem, the true nature of divinity, the idea of pain and suffering, the constructive use of money, and how to create personal boundaries that respect your privacy and the needs of those around you.

Why are you giving me this story?
Because you are looking for answers and I have a few I think will work.

Can I ask you questions while the story is being told?
Yes, I welcome them.

What if I ask a stupid question?
There are no stupid questions. The purpose of sharing is to find answers that work for you. Therefore, all questions are welcome and all questions are valid.

I may have feelings I want to express.
I’m sure you will. Share them. Then the reader will commiserate.

Are you sure it will be commiseration?
That’s how it worked for me. My time in history was different from your time in history, but the emotional struggles are all the same. Just as you have reasons for being a part of your family, I and the people in my family had reasons for being a part of ours. Personal growth is everyone’s ambition.

As the narrator, I will convey our journey together to the best of my ability. You will repeat them to the best of your ability and, together, we’ll develop a style of delivery that works for the common good.

I lived my new beginning, financially, emotionally, and physically. No words can express my deep appreciation for the ever-present mentoring, the constant accessibility, and the unending patience given to me throughout this project. I thank Jesus over and over for inviting me to participate and he thanks me over and over for joining his effort. Perhaps you’ll have a similar experience: one that blesses your life, as every part of mine feels blessed.